Ejecting Gracefully From A Bad Date



Posted: Monday, October 19, 2009

by Patrick Attlee

Sometimes dates just don't work out. This fact of life can lead to awkward situations and this article aims to help you make a call on how well a date is going and how to get out of it or keep going depending on the situation.

You will have had some interaction prior to the date unless this is a blind date so there must have been some chemistry at work to get you to this point. However once the date is under way you will both be testing that initial connection to see if it is a reality. How the date is going for your partner will be evident in subtle aspects of their behavior. In the early stages of the date you need to be careful not to jump to the conclusion that something is not right because it could all be down to the nerves of either or both of you. There are a few things you can do to measure this so you don't make any hasty decisions.

Ask yourself, and be honest, whether or not you feel relaxed. If you are tense, even if you are not obviously exhibiting signs of stress, your date will definitely be picking it up at a sub-conscious level. It will also likely be preventing your true personality to come through and the difficulty with this is that you will be aware of this and will likely get tenser. Escaping to the bathroom for a few minutes to breathe deeply is a great way to help you relax. You can then return and be more objective about whether your tension was due to nerves or the fact that you really don't want to be on this date. This is also true of your date. Showing an interest in someone is a great way to make them feel less tense and at ease. Do this until you sense them relaxing or until they themselves take a time out in the bathroom.

Another thing that can inadvertently cause one of you to seize up is a throw away remark that causes offense that the other party never really recovers from. Such a remark may be made because one of you is just very nervous but it has the effect of throwing the date into a irrecoverable tail spin. At the start of the date you can put this down to nerves on the part of your companion for the evening. It is good manners to give them the benefit of the doubt at this stage in the proceedings. Don't be too hasty to end the date over a single comment like this. Let it go and wait a while before making a final decision.

The key to all this is to not let things that are actually pretty trivial cause you to write off the date before you have properly got to know the other person. In the initial stages, this could well be down to nerves and you should be prepared for this and make allowances. There will plenty of opportunities later on in the date for you to determine if the person sitting across from you is worth giving further consideration to.

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Patrick has been contributing online about relationships and dating for several years. He has been writing recently about storm door hardware and antique door hardware after moving into an old house.
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